Diane,

I have done a number of weddings over the past 25 years and have included vows not only for the couple, but for the parents of the couple. In my premarital counseling I usually meet and talk with parents and stress their important role instrengthening their children’s marriage. In my remarks during the wedding Isay that this is marriage is not just a union of two individuals, but of twofamilies and stress the importance of the merging of the two family groupstogether to help provide part of the “glue” for this new marriage.

Then,after the couple recites their vows, I turn to the bride’s parents and say,”Will you, Mr. and Mrs. Jones, take Bob to be your son-in-law, will you lovehim, care for him, treat him as your own son, and do all you can tostrengthen and encourage his marriage to your daughter? (They answer “Ido.”) “Will you, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, take Jennie to be yourdaughter-in-law, will you love her, care for her, treat her as your owndaughter, and do all you can to strengthen and encourage her marriage toyour son?”(They answer “I do.”)Bill Beahm, Ph.D.